Wednesday, December 1, 2021

THC Wine: The Final Frontier

As a food and wine critic, I like to think that I’ve got a very wide range of tastes. There are few things that I’ll turn down if I’m asked to critique it. In recent years, politicians have been making moves to decriminalize weed across the country. Delta-8 THC is currently legal nationwide…and CBD product makers have figured that out.

While I was at Exxxotica New Jersey, I was able to pick up a bottle of something that took me by surprise. It was a series of wine bottles with candy-colored drinks at the Mia’s Heart Health booth. I was already parched, so I was all about it. Then the salesperson stopped me and said, “You know this has THC, right?”

So, uh, I bought it. And now, I’m going to tell you a little bit about this trend and what you should expect from it. 

THC Wine
Image by Erin Stone from Pixabay

How Is THC Wine Legal?

THC is, for the most part, illegal. However, Delta-8 THC, the least psychoactive, is legal. As a result, most CBD purveyors ended up catching on. They began to isolate it, and now, it’s a part of regular legal sales in the “canna-economy.”

In New Jersey, there’s also no law barring cannabis from being used in alcohol. Same with Chicago, which is where Mia’s is based. So, we Jersey folk ended up having the opportunity to try out THC wine!

The Wine: Pink Cookie Crooks Prink Gelato Moscato

I’ll be honest. I bought this bottle because it matched my Exxxotica outfits, most of which were pink. It was an adorable bottle, even though I am usually not a Moscato drinker. When I looked at the label, it became clear there were around 222 milligrams of THC in this bottle. They recommend drinking 4 to 6 ounces, then bringing it up from there. 

The Flavor

So, I’ll be blunt. This was one of the best wines I ever tasted, full stop.

It’s a wine that does not taste like a wine. Rather, it tastes more like a mixed drink you would get for someone’s 21st drink. It’s sweet, but not cloyingly sweet. It’s refreshing, and I strongly suggest chilling it for maximum enjoyment. 

If you love pairing chocolates with your wine, you’ll love this flavor. I can see this being amazing with milk chocolate, strawberry-flavored chocolate, and so much more. With that said, anyone who wants a sweet wine would love this. 

The Potency

Each bottle of THC wine contains 222 milligrams of Delta-8 goodness. This may seem low for people who are heavy into greenery, but the truth is that it’s a powerful punch. The alcohol content in the wine brings out the THC so much more. 

I drank the recommended amount. For science. It was enough to make me one with my couch for an entire day. If you are a cannabis lightweight like myself, one glass might actually prove to be too much for you. 

I can’t really judge cannabis well in terms of effects. What I will say, though, is that this wine gave me an amazing quality of sleep. (I’m not sure my husband could tell if I was sleeping or dead.) 

My Verdict

As someone who loves to drink, this might be the only wine I’ve ever truly enjoyed that I cannot finish in a single sitting. The THC in it kind of forces you to take it one sip at a time. Thankfully, it seems to store pretty well—so you can continue to enjoy it for quite some time after opening it. 

WIth that said, this kind of wine is not for everyone. If you are sensitive to THC or get panicky with it, I’d suggest you skip it. (If only they had a THC-free version of the wine, right?) Also, for safety’s sake, I’m going to tell you that even half a glass will make it impossible for you to drive safely. This is strong

Is This Going To Be A Trend? 

Since I bought that first bottle, I overheard several of my friends mentioning experiences with similar wines throughout their travels. I’ve reported about major trends in drinks regarding cannabis before. It seems like THC liquor was bound to happen. 

Will Mia’s Heart Health become the gold standard of this wine trend? I don’t know about others, but I’ll say they’ve made a sweet wine fan out of me. That alone is worth a gold star in my book.

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Ossiana Tepfenhart
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a food critic, writer, and at home culinary enthusiast!

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